Wow, it's November already. Where does the time go?
Death is but a Dream has been released and is in all formats. The feedback has been great so far. I know what to do better next time and I know what people have liked.
The end of November is my review blog tour for DIBAD and I'm so nervous and excited. I've never done a tour for a book before, so this is new ground for me. We're giving away something exciting for old fans and new. It should be fun. I hope it gets the book into the hands of people who want to read it.
Watch this space in about three weeks. *bites nails nervously.
Love you guys.
xErin
Monday, 4 November 2013
Saturday, 21 September 2013
Edits, proofs, and songs
I got my edits back from my editor and I have to say, the book reads beautifully and I lurv it dearly. Thanks to everyone who helped make this possible. Hopefully you know who you are. ;)
I've formatted it and ordered proofs. I should be hitting the publish button next weekend if all goes to plan. It will be available on Kindle, Print, Nook, Apple, and others.
Fingers. are. crossed. And I'm so nervous about releasing it, as you probably are when your child rocks up to kindergarten for the first day. So much hope and so many dreams for the future.
So, with that in mind, here's a song that I've been listening to nonstop since it came out. It reminds me soooo much of the story, with its haunting music from one of my favorite bands to hit the airwaves in the past few years. Sit back and enjoy "Together" from The xx.
*sighs happily. I should probably post the entire soundtrack to the book, of the music I listened to while writing Death is but a Dream.
So please add Death is but a Dream to your Goodreads lists if you haven't. Or mark it on your calendar.
I can't wait to share it with you.
Thanks,
xErin
I've formatted it and ordered proofs. I should be hitting the publish button next weekend if all goes to plan. It will be available on Kindle, Print, Nook, Apple, and others.
Fingers. are. crossed. And I'm so nervous about releasing it, as you probably are when your child rocks up to kindergarten for the first day. So much hope and so many dreams for the future.
So, with that in mind, here's a song that I've been listening to nonstop since it came out. It reminds me soooo much of the story, with its haunting music from one of my favorite bands to hit the airwaves in the past few years. Sit back and enjoy "Together" from The xx.
*sighs happily. I should probably post the entire soundtrack to the book, of the music I listened to while writing Death is but a Dream.
So please add Death is but a Dream to your Goodreads lists if you haven't. Or mark it on your calendar.
I can't wait to share it with you.
Thanks,
xErin
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Death is but a Dream Cover Reveal!
Oh my goodness has it been a while since I posted on my blog. It's almost criminal negligence. I'd like to say that I've been incredibly busy with writing and prepping and work...but then again, I am playing some Legend of Zelda in my spare time, so...
BUT, to make it up to you, here's is the absolutely GORGEOUS cover for my new book, Death is but a Dream, which is going to be released this Autumn. The artwork is done by the AMAZING Claudia McKinney of PhatPuppy Art and the typography was done by the AWESOME Ashley of Bookish Brunette Designs. I think they totally nailed it and I think Callie looks pretty epic. The cover reveal for it has been organized by the WONDERFUL Giselle of Xpresso Book Tours. Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your help.
Here it is!
Here's the back description:
Caught between life and death, all Callie wants is to live again.
Homicide detective Callie Saunders knows that death isn’t all pearly gates and angels. After being hit by a bus, she finds that it's the ancient gods and goddesses of Greek mythology who are in charge of everything.
So when Hades offers her a deal, she accepts. If she wants to be brought back to life, she’ll have to figure out who is trying to kill his son. But if she fails, both her soul and the world will be destroyed.
With the odds mounting against her, it’ll take everything she has within her to wake up from death. But the rules are constantly changing. And someone wants her to stay dead.
So please be sure to check it out this Autumn!
xErin
BUT, to make it up to you, here's is the absolutely GORGEOUS cover for my new book, Death is but a Dream, which is going to be released this Autumn. The artwork is done by the AMAZING Claudia McKinney of PhatPuppy Art and the typography was done by the AWESOME Ashley of Bookish Brunette Designs. I think they totally nailed it and I think Callie looks pretty epic. The cover reveal for it has been organized by the WONDERFUL Giselle of Xpresso Book Tours. Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your help.
Here it is!
Here's the back description:
Caught between life and death, all Callie wants is to live again.
Homicide detective Callie Saunders knows that death isn’t all pearly gates and angels. After being hit by a bus, she finds that it's the ancient gods and goddesses of Greek mythology who are in charge of everything.
So when Hades offers her a deal, she accepts. If she wants to be brought back to life, she’ll have to figure out who is trying to kill his son. But if she fails, both her soul and the world will be destroyed.
With the odds mounting against her, it’ll take everything she has within her to wake up from death. But the rules are constantly changing. And someone wants her to stay dead.
So please be sure to check it out this Autumn!
xErin
Monday, 27 May 2013
NYC Midnight Round 2
So, in between everything that's been happening, I've been involved in a short story contest over at NYC Midnight. It started out with 850 writers, the weekend Chris and I were in Wellington. I nearly forgot about it until the day before it was due. I made it into the second round with my story entitled Glassical Music. Then, when Chris and I were in Queenstown, I got the 2nd round brief and I had to write a short story in 3 days. That was fun. I'll post it here for you guys to enjoy. The feedback I got from the judges was great. And it got me into Round 3 - the Finals. I'll elaborate on that late. But until then, here's Round 2.
I hope you'll like it too. :)
I hope you'll like it too. :)
Electric Love
I love her.
The
feeling is intense and all-consuming, like a crushing weight on my
soul. She is my soul mate. And I am hers. Even though she doesn't
know it yet. It's a match made in Heaven, even though you might say
that I belong in Hell.
She
works as a tour guide at the Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville, where
she tells school children all the “don'ts” to stay out of prison:
Don't steal. Don't do drugs. And most of all, don't murder anyone.
That's
the best part about her lecture – she gets to show them Old Sparky,
the decommissioned electric chair. The kids watch her as she
describes the past Death Row inmates who died in this twisted piece
of metal and wood. There are the notorious ones, the serial killers
who raped and murdered more women and men than they can remember.
There are some who have killed just a single person. And some who
were completely innocent.
But
Old Sparky doesn't care. When you flip that switch, he fries the life
out of whatever unfortunate soul is sitting there. For such a
flippant name, the damn chair is an undiscerning bastard.
The
kids are always fascinated. Some think it's cool. Some are frightened
by the possibilities of a chair like this. A piece of their innocence
is forever lost, like looking at this chair gives them a glimpse into
the fabric of life and death. Maybe one or two of them make a
conscious decision not to end up in a similar situation.
But
most will forget about it as soon as their teacher passes out lunch,
usually comprising of smushed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and
watered-down juice. Their lives will move on, and they'll forget this
little tour.
But
not me. I am forever left alone with Old Sparky.
It
was decommissioned in 1976 when there was an uproar over the fact
that it took three tries for death to finally claim its last victim.
Me.
And
I've been haunting this electric chair ever since.
After
37 years, I've forgiven Old Sparky for our rough first meeting. I
mean, I wasn't innocent. Not by a long shot, so maybe three tries to
make my heart explode in my chest was a bit of retribution. Because
without my unwavering connection to it, I might have never met her.
I don't know when it started, my search for the perfect girlfriend.
It might have been just after I started working as an electrician.
I've always been a lonely kind of guy. Girls never noticed me, and I
never knew how to approach them.
As an electrician though, I was someone they trusted to enter their
homes and lives. They would smile at me when I first arrived. They
would offer me water while I worked. Some would chat. And they would
all give me a handshake and say they'd call again if they needed any
help.
I saw them quite a few times over the years.
Problem
is, I'd get fixated on one. I'd repair the electrical faults in her
house. I would make sure that the job would take several days. We'd
end up talking to each other – and I mean really
talk during my breaks. I'd learn a lot about what she liked and all
her dreams.
With the first one, I had made the mistake of telling her my dream.
That I wanted us to be together for the rest of our lives. That I
always wanted her there at the house to welcome me. To love me.
She laughed and told me she was already married. That it was
impossible for any of that to happen.
Instead
of just moving on, something inside me had snapped. If we couldn't be
together, then she
couldn't be with anyone.
I
botched the repair job, not so much as to be obvious about what
happened. Just enough so that something would
happen. And a few weeks later, when the house burned down to the
ground with the bitch and her husband inside, the police never
suspected a thing.
I was free of her love spell and continued my work.
The
thing was, I always found another girl to fall in love with. And even
though I was so courteous to spend my
time repairing their electric wiring, they never reciprocated my
feelings.
So I made sure they were never able to reciprocate those feelings
with anyone else.
I started small, doing similar hack jobs that guaranteed the house
would burn down at some point. Amazingly, the police never caught on
that all the victims had the same electrician.
So I got more ambitious. I wanted my unrequited loves to suffer even
more. Their pain filled the hole in my heart, if only temporarily. I
made sure fires would start in different places, so as to avoid
suspicion. I went bigger and bigger, until the house was literally a
ticking time bomb ready to go off with a bang.
They never got away either. As my star-crossed lover, each one was
doomed to die when their house finally gave in to the faulty wiring.
Their homes became their funeral pyres.
But
when my eleventh love died, someone
at the police station finally connected the dots. I was arrested amid
a flurry of media frenzy. They pegged me as a serial killer, ranking
me up there with the likes of John Haigh, Ted Bundy, even Jack the
Ripper. I freely admitted that I killed them as well. After all, they
deserved it for not loving me back.
Fittingly, the newspapers called me The Electrician, and I became the
most hated man in America.
You can imagine the sheer irony that
the electric chair that executed me had faulty wiring and
required not one, not two, but three tries to finally do me in. Some
said I deserved it. Others were just glad that I was finally dead.
But the state was so embarrassed, they finally decommissioned Old
Sparky.
So
we've been sitting together in this museum for years.
Time was just ticking by without anyone noticing us. I thought I was
doomed to never be happy again. And maybe that's an appropriate
punishment for someone like me.
But no, God has finally smiled upon me with forgiveness by bringing
my museum tour guide to me. Unlike the other girls I've fallen in
love with, she's smart, funny, good with kids, and absolutely
beautiful. This angel has restored purpose to my Afterlife. She gives
me reason for being. It makes sense that everything before was just
leading up to our meeting. If I hadn't killed eleven other girls, I
never would have been executed, which means I never would have been
haunting Old Sparky. And I would have never seen her shining face.
I can think of nothing else but being with her. I am obsessed with
the thought of us finally being together.
But how can we, when she doesn't know I exist?
I've been pondering that for quite a while now. How can I make her
finally see me? How does a ghost make a living girl fall in love with
them?
I don't want to show myself to her while she was giving a tour,
which, sadly, is really my only contact with her. I want us to be
alone together, where we'll talk and laugh and share everything we
loved about each other.
I am sitting on Old Sparky thinking of ways and alternatives, when
suddenly, there she was. After closing time and without a tour.
I
look up, astonished that this Aphrodite created just for me is here,
now, with me. I get up
quickly to dust off my pants and make sure my hair is parted
correctly. It's an outdated style by now, but it had been all the
rage back when I was alive.
She's not even looking at me. She's on her hands and knees, searching
around the benches and around the trash cans, but I don't know why.
At this point I don't really care. I just want her to see me and love
me.
She picks something up in her hands – I've seen the kids with them
before. “Hey Josh!” she calls out in to the hallway. “Tell Mrs.
Anderson I've found her son's iPhone!” She gives it another dubious
glance.
A muffled voice answers from down the hall, sounding genuinely
amused, although I can't make out the words.
“Stupid kids don't take care of their stuff,” she adds under her
breath.
She sits back on her heels and takes another glance around the place
and her eyes linger on Old Sparky. I sure wish they'd linger on me.
“Such a creepy place,” she mutters. “I really need to get a new
job.”
Now's
my chance. I get near her. I don't want to scare her – after all, I
am a ghost – but I
don't want this opportunity to pass us by.
She shivers perceptibly as the air chills around her from my
presence. She tries to rub warmth back into her arms. But I know she
won't be able to get warm with me around her. That's okay though –
she'll learn to like the cold because that means she'll be around me.
“My love,” I whisper in her ear.
She jerks at my voice, falling on her wonderful butt. She has gone
pale, frightened. Her short, panicked breaths are coming out in short
bursts of white clouds.
“Wh-who's there?” she calls out. I give her her space. She's
freaked out now, and I don't want to ruin my first impression. I'll
let her calm down.
“Josh, is that you?” she cries out. “Samantha?”
When there's no answer, she scrambles to her feet and looks around
wildly. I realize, too late, that she's about to leave. She'll run
away from me, and if she's scared enough, there's no way she'll ever
be back in here by herself again.
“I'm here,” I tell her.
I reach out to touch her, to comfort her and tell her that everything
is all right. But as my hand touches her bare skin, electricity arcs
between us, sending a jolt down to her skin. She jumps back with a
shriek.
There's nothing else I can do. I grab her into a tight embrace,
meaning to comfort her and tell her that everything is all right.
Electricity shocks her again, and this time, it's her entire body. I
can't stop the shocks. But I can hold her to show my love transcends
death for her.
She screams with the horror of someone whose world has just been
shattered. “Th-th-the Elect...rician?!”
Initially, I'm surprised that she knows who I am. I guess the sparks
between us give my identity away. But before I can do anything, she
runs out of Old Sparky's room, looking like she had just seen a
ghost. Me.
She won't ever return.
It takes me a while to realize this, but after patiently waiting a
few months, I am forced to admit that she was too frightened to stick
around. The tours continue without their guide. Instead, some guy is
filling in until they can find a permanent replacement.
It breaks my heart at first. All I ever wanted to do was to make her
love me and give my Afterlife meaning. I eventually get over it
though, because life goes on, even when you're dead. The sting goes
away, and I go back to my lonely existence with Old Sparky.
My only regret is that I didn't kill her.
Someone
new starts conducting the tours in her place. And as I watched this
new girl teach new rounds of school kids about Old Sparky, I realize
that here is a girl I
could finally see myself with.
I learn to love her.
She is my soul mate.
And I am hers.
Even though she doesn't know it yet.
Saturday, 2 March 2013
My short story submission to NYC Midnight
Hey guys, how are you doing?
Things have been busy in Erin-land (aren't they always?). I've crossed the 50k word threshold with my new book, test reading a few others, plotting ways to take over the world with my husband, been on vacation, AND I've entered a short story contest for NYC Midnight, which I've just submitted.
Now, with NYC Midnight's short story challenges, you get assigned a genre, a subject, and a character, and you have a week and 2,500 words to do it in. I usually try to do these to stretch myself as a writer and do something a bit different. They tend to be fun.
This time, I got comedy, a scholarship, and a music teacher. Because I was in Wellington when I got the assignment, I nearly forgot about it until Friday night. Whoops. So I sat down and wrote the first thing that came to mind. It's not a comedy (the situation might be, but there's no laugh out loud part, so I don't think I'll progress, but I quite like what I wrote. I tried a few things here to be a bit different, and it's not bad for a few hours' work (okay, it was about seven hours of work, but who's counting?).
Here's the story. If you want to give me feedback, please respond in the comments and let me know - I'm always trying to make myself better as a writer, and as I said, I'm trying to do something a bit different. Enjoy.
Things have been busy in Erin-land (aren't they always?). I've crossed the 50k word threshold with my new book, test reading a few others, plotting ways to take over the world with my husband, been on vacation, AND I've entered a short story contest for NYC Midnight, which I've just submitted.
Now, with NYC Midnight's short story challenges, you get assigned a genre, a subject, and a character, and you have a week and 2,500 words to do it in. I usually try to do these to stretch myself as a writer and do something a bit different. They tend to be fun.
This time, I got comedy, a scholarship, and a music teacher. Because I was in Wellington when I got the assignment, I nearly forgot about it until Friday night. Whoops. So I sat down and wrote the first thing that came to mind. It's not a comedy (the situation might be, but there's no laugh out loud part, so I don't think I'll progress, but I quite like what I wrote. I tried a few things here to be a bit different, and it's not bad for a few hours' work (okay, it was about seven hours of work, but who's counting?).
Here's the story. If you want to give me feedback, please respond in the comments and let me know - I'm always trying to make myself better as a writer, and as I said, I'm trying to do something a bit different. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------------
Glassical
Music
Brief Synopsis: Given no
other choice, Kevin Baxter resorts to playing an unusual instrument
when he auditions for a full scholarship to New York City's finest
arts high school.
There they are, just ready to be sold.
My
Nana's crystal stemmed wine glasses sparkle tauntingly as I open the
cabinet.
Gently,
I pick one up. I know there are five dozen crystal stemmed wine
glasses in total, most of them sitting under several layers of dust.
After everything that happened with my family, they were never pawned
off. It is nothing short of a miracle that they are still here.
Nana's no longer here to defend them. The only thing keeping them
from being the next thing sold is the fact that Momma had simply
forgot about them.
“How
much d'ya think they're worth?” I ask. “Ya think it's enough for
that keyboard?”
“That
keyboard” being the one I found at the very pawn shop where most of
my family heirlooms were sold for pennies for each dollar they were
worth.
“Nana
loved them glasses,” Shawn, my nine year old brother, whines.
“She
ain't drinking from 'em now,” I shush. I grab another and another
and start to fill up a busted cardboard U-Haul box I found on the
walk home from church. It will be big enough to carry all of these
glasses to the pawn shop, hopefully without breaking one.
I
have to hurry before Momma gets home. I arrange them inside the box.
“You
takin' all of 'em?” Shawn can be really annoying.
“Yea,
now shut yer trap,” I growl.
“But...”
I
give him another look that silences him. When Shawn wants to, he can
close up like a Venus Fly Trap I once saw in science class. And with
the way his mouth was gaping a moment before, he probably did
catch a fly.
“Now,
help me get alla these ready.”
Between
the two of us, we fetch each glass, dust it, wrap it up in yellowed
newspaper, and place it in the box. It takes a bit longer than I
would've liked, but I guess that's what happens when you're trying to
protect sixty fragile wine glasses.
I
pick up the box with a grunt. It is surprisingly far heavier than I
would ever have thought. Each one of them is made of thin, clear
glass, with an impossibly skinny stem. But sixty of those can add up
to a pretty heavy load.
“'K,
you stay here,” I order. I open the front door and use the box to
prop it open as I gingerly make my way through.
“But
Kevin...”
“Shawn!”
I exasperate. “Stay here. Granpa'll watch you.” He is asleep on
the couch, but Shawn isn't stupid enough to cause too much trouble.
My
kid brother watches me with too-wide eyes as the door closes behind
me.
Now,
by myself, the weight of what I'm doing hits me, and I sway slightly.
I am suddenly lightheaded. I don't want
to sell Nana's wine glasses, but how else am I supposed to get money
to pay for a keyboard? The audition for LaGuardia Arts High School is
in a week, and I don't have any way of practicing a song for it. And
I have to be the best, because the best performer gets a full ride to
the school. And with my family's financial troubles, that scholarship
is my only hope of going to LaGuardia.
If
I got in.
I'm actually not too worried about getting in. Before he died, Dad
taught me how to play the piano on this old vertical piano he got
from a bar on the lower East Side that looked like it was from the
1920s. It wasn't a great piano, missing a key from the lowest octave,
but it had 84 other keys you could play. Dad even tried replacing
that missing key with a wooden Jenga piece.
It
turns out that I have perfect pitch and can play the piano by ear. I
don't even know how to read music. You just play a song and I can
match it, after a few tries. Granpa had been disappointed when Dad
told him what perfect pitch was (“He ain't practicing to be a
baseball pitcher? What the hell is a boy going to do with music?”
he grouched.) but I could play like like a concert pianist.
When Dad died, my family suddenly found itself without a breadwinner,
so they sold the piano for a hundred dollars.
And I suddenly found myself without a piano.
That was all right up until a few weeks ago. I was able to practice
at my junior high, because they have their own piano. But now,
school's out for the winter holidays and I have auditions for
LaGuardia coming up in a week. So I need an instrument, fast.
I also don't think Nana would mind supporting her eldest grandchild.
“C'mon, Kev,” I tell myself aloud. “You can do this.”
The bell to the pawn shop jingles as I enter, that high pitched
tingle a reminder of my guilt. I trudge up to the counter and softly
put the box on it. Behind the bullet proof glass, the cashier regards
me through half-lidded eyes.
“Kevin Baxter,” he says, giving me a toothy smile. My family has
been here so much in the past four years, he knows us all by name. I
just never bothered to learn his. “What brings ye here?”
I take out one of the glasses and show him. “I wanna sell these,”
I say. “Please.”
He raises an eyebrows and inspects it.
“There're sixty,” I add, hoping that the number entices him.
He glances at me, and slowly, achingly, he sifts through the box, as
if he doesn't trust that I'm telling the truth. “I'll give ye
thirty for them.”
I
blink, unsure if I heard it right. “Thirty?”
I ask.
“Yep.”
“They're worth at least two dollars!” I actually think they're
worth a lot more, but I'm not going to tell him that. I'm trying to
negotiate, but all I really want is enough money for that keyboard.
“Thirty dollars.”
I gulp, and I self-consciously glance at the wall to my right. An old
Casio keyboard is looking back at me. Its keys look like it's giving
me a toothy grin. A sticker on it says $45.
“Either thirty or nothing,” he drawls. “Take it or leave it.”
I
glance back at him. I could
sell them and see if I could find another keyboard. But I don't know
how many options are left to me and the Casio is the cheapest
keyboard I've seen. I've been looking around.
I'm about to say yes, when I see his finger twirling around the rim
of the glass. I remember my Nana doing that when the glass was full
of red wine. She'd make this haunting noise just by dipping a finger
into the liquid and then running it along at that thin edge. The
fuller the glass, the higher the note.
Music. It's music.
“I'll leave it,” I say, picking up the heavy box.
Next week is going to be very interesting.
I try not to notice all of the eyes that are staring at me.
I'm sitting in the hallway next to the stage door of LaGuardia Arts'
auditorium. There's about fifteen other kids my age here with their
parents looking at me like I'm a huge joke. They're all dressed far
better than me with their clarinets and violins and tubas sitting on
their laps. One kid even has a gigantic harp.
Like me, they've already warmed up in another room. Like me, they're
just waiting to go in.
“Are you for real?” a preppy kid near me asks.
“Are you 'n asshole?” I ask back.
His eyes widen in disbelief. Apparently no one has ever called him
that before. I sit back, satisfied.
“Kevin Baxter,” a kind voice announces.
“Here!” I call out.
The woman with the clipboard looks at me and blinks confusedly for
about fifteen seconds before answering. “It's your turn,” she
finally says. And she moves aside, giving me enough room to push my
cart into the auditorium.
Every bump and every turn feels treacherous as I push my way out onto
the stage. I can imagine taking a turn too quickly and spilling
everything onto the floor. And while I have perfect pitch, my singing
voice isn't enough to get me in. My church choir can back me up on
that.
“Number 439,” the woman with the clipboard announces. “Kevin
Baxter.”
The lights bearing down on me are bright and impenetrable. I see six
silhouettes in front of me, all teachers from the music department at
LaGuardia Arts. They'll be judging my audition, determining if I'm
good enough to be both accepted and if I'm good enough to receive the
full ride scholarship into the music school.
I swallow nervously. Was I supposed to do an introduction? I'm not
sure.
“H-hi,”
I said. “My name's Kevin Baxter.” Idiot, the lady
already said that. “An' I'm
going to play 'Hallelujah' on my...my glasses.”
Even saying it aloud makes it sound more ridiculous. My cheeks burn.
There's no response. In fact, I can actually hear a cricket somewhere
in the back of the auditorium, which momentarily disorients me. Why
haven't they gotten rid of the cricket for these auditions?
This
is for my future. This
is for solving all my problems.
Including tuition to the top magnate arts school in the city.
I bend over my cart, to Nana's sixty wine glasses filled with varying
levels of water. I had arrived to the school early so I could spend
hours tuning my so-called instrument. It's amazing how just a drop of
water can make the note sound off. I'd arranged each glass,
fashioning something like a piano on my cart. I even added food
coloring to create “black keys”. While there are only 60 keys
here, far less than the piano I grew up on, I know what I'm doing.
I dip the tips of my fingers in a bowl of water and start to play,
letting the music flow through me. Even though I am used to it after
a week of practicing, the notes blend together, making a haunting,
minimalistic version of a song I know these music teachers have all
heard before. Other kids'll be playing complex, hard songs that makes
their fingers ache and their lungs deflate.
My
hands are flying above each rim. I have to move fast, even though
each note is slow, melancholy. I know that every pitch is perfect,
every note is hit right. Once around the rim for longer notes, quick
swipes for shorter notes, just like I practiced all last week. I pour
everything I have into the music, letting it roll over me and out to
the audience. Ninety seconds. That's all I have to impress the music
teachers and show them that I know music even better than they do.
Ever play using wine glasses? I thought not.
Then, after it feels like no
time has passed and everything is drained out of me, I finish. I
allow myself a smile.
The judges are silent. Aren't they supposed to say something, to give
feedback? I was expecting something else. Not silence like this.
That
damn cricket at the back of the auditorium is back, playing his own
music which sounds oddly like, “Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo.”
“Thanks,” I say, and I nod my head in an awkward bow.
I wheel off my cart, not even caring if I spill a few drops now. I'm
done. If they don't like what I did, then there's no further point in
anything else I'm doing. Once again, I ignore the shocked expressions
of other hopefuls and their parents, and I head straight to the
bathroom to pour out the contents of each glass. It's time to pack up
and go home.
They are meant to announce who got in and who got the scholarship
today. After the music teacher's silence, I know what the answer is.
No and no. I should've sold Nana's wine glasses when I had the
chance.
I take my time cleaning up, because if I have to suffer through any
more stares or crappy comments, I'm going to break, just as if I drop
one of these glasses. It takes me longer than I expected to wash,
dry, and pack up sixty glasses, even though I've done it many times
before in the past week. I don't want to face the truth.
When I get out of the bathroom, the results are posted on the door to
the auditorium.
I look, but I don't want to. I don't want my dreams to end here, but
I'm compelled to look.
There it is. My name on the accepted list. I widen my eyes and read
again. I'm at the very bottom of the list, what does that mean? Oh.
I'm not at the top. I'm not the one who has received the full
scholarship.
My eyes are wide now, and it's not from shock. It's because I don't
want to cry in front of these people. Others are shrieking happily
that they've been accepted, and one lucky person doesn't have to
worry about the steep tuition fees. But I do. This is even more cruel
than if I hadn't made it.
“It's unfair, I think,” a voice says beside me. I turn my head
and a man is smiling at me. “I tried convincing them that someone
of your exceptional talents should be given a full scholarship to
LaGuardia. We need more diversity, more innovation in order to stay
relevant to the present. Someone like you.”
“Oh,” I say.
“I'm Dr. Forrester,” he says, “and I teach music theory here at
LaGuardia.”
“Oh,” I repeat dumbly.
He gives me a grin. “You know, my wife's family owns a restaurant
on Greenwich Avenue, and they're looking for a new dish washer. After
seeing the way you treated those wine glasses, I think you'd be a
perfect fit. Not a single one broke when you were wheeling that thing
out onto the stage.”
He slips me a business card, and I glance at it. D'lish is the name
of the restaurant.
“If you want to come in for an interview, I think we can offer you
your full tuition here and plus some more. Plus,” he adds with a
mischievous smile, “there's a piano there you can play to entertain
dinner guests.”
He claps me on the back. I'm stunned.
“Just give her a call at that number and she'll bring you in for a
chat.” He smiles at me. “Be seeing you around, Kevin.”
Just
like that, he leaves me alone. It takes me a few minutes to process
what he has said. But it feels
genuine. And for the first time in a long time, it feels like my
dreams are coming true.
I look down at my box of sixty wine glasses, and a slow smile spreads
across my face.
“Thanks, Nana.”
Saturday, 2 February 2013
I'm alive, I promise
As a fellow writer recently lamented, blogging can get in the way of writing. And I've been so busy, life has gotten in the way of writing, so blogging suffered as a result. I'll try to make amends.
So NaNoWriMo didn't go as planned.
I wrote and wrote and tore out my hair, trying to make it work. I had a scenario that I'd dreamt about years ago and it's stuck with me for a long time. The dream terrified me. And while I was writing my horror story, I just didn't feel like I was doing it justice. I didn't have a purpose to the story. There was no antagonist. I only had characters that I tried too hard to like. When I had a bad day and killed off three characters within one paragraph, I did one of these:
So, I put that story on the back burner. I will return to it, but November just wasn't the right time. Instead, I've start writing another book that I've had stewing in my mind. This one goes back further than my horror story - I drew the first version of the main character when I was a junior in high school. Granted, that character no longer exists, but that sowed the seeds for this current book.
I'll go back to my little horror story either when I'm done with this one or the one after that. It will be better for it.
Other than that, if you haven't seen this short, then be prepared for the best six minutes of your life.
Enjoy!
So NaNoWriMo didn't go as planned.
I wrote and wrote and tore out my hair, trying to make it work. I had a scenario that I'd dreamt about years ago and it's stuck with me for a long time. The dream terrified me. And while I was writing my horror story, I just didn't feel like I was doing it justice. I didn't have a purpose to the story. There was no antagonist. I only had characters that I tried too hard to like. When I had a bad day and killed off three characters within one paragraph, I did one of these:
So, I put that story on the back burner. I will return to it, but November just wasn't the right time. Instead, I've start writing another book that I've had stewing in my mind. This one goes back further than my horror story - I drew the first version of the main character when I was a junior in high school. Granted, that character no longer exists, but that sowed the seeds for this current book.
I'll go back to my little horror story either when I'm done with this one or the one after that. It will be better for it.
Other than that, if you haven't seen this short, then be prepared for the best six minutes of your life.
Enjoy!
Thursday, 1 November 2012
A Quick Update on NaNoWriMo
It was the first day of NaNoWriMo and I had a good day. To be on pace is 1,667 words. I did 2,202. Hopefully I can keep that up.
I'm excited for this one. It feels nice to use explicit language in a novel again.
I'm excited for this one. It feels nice to use explicit language in a novel again.
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